noflash banner Icon

Steve Bell's Published Books

This is a comprehensive, detailed catalogue of all 30 Steve Bell books. Most of the ones pre-1999 are out of print, but recent ones may be available for direct sale, otherwise try the second hand market.

And now, two catalogues, one entirely in German:

Bell Epoque

Bell Epoque cover Thirty Years of Steve Bell. The catalogue for the May 2011 exhibition at the Cartoon Museum compiled and edited by Anita O'Brien and Chris Miles. With written contributions from Terry Jones, Nicholas Garland, Geoffrey Strachan and Simon Hoggart. Includes an extensive interview with the artiste himself.

Cartoon Museum 2011 (paperback, 144 pages)
ISBN: 978-0-9537263-5-6
You can buy it via the Cartoon Museum Shop here: cartoonmuseumshop.org
 

Steve Bell: Im Auge Des Zeichners

Wilhelm Busch cover The catalogue for the February 2011 exhibition at the Wilhelm Busch Museum in Hannover, foreword by Dr Gisela Vetter Liebenow, written by Karl Janke, and designed by Sebastian Peetz.

Das Deutsche Museum für Karikatur und Zeichenkunst Wilhelm Busch 2011, (paperback, 146 pages, limited edition of 200 copies, individually inscribed by SB)
ISBN: 978-3-921752-54-x

 

If... Bursts Out cover

If... Bursts Out

This Bumper, shelf-busting volume tells the story of the death of New Labour, from the cartoon riots of 2006 to the arrival of the ConLibDemolition in 2010.
Written and drawn in full colour, Steve Bell's sharp-as-a-tack commentary takes on politics, the planet and everything in between.

Marvel at Gordon Brown's progress from Iron Chancellor to Saviour of the World to Rochdale
Ogle at Silvio Berlusconi's false tits
Watch Cherie Blair loose track of her equipment
Weep as Prudence dies in the financial meltdown
Celebrate as Dubya disappears and Obama bounds onstage
Thrill as the three party leaders join in a televised debate where hairstyles are blown up out of all proportion
Gape as Nick Nobody inspires Cleggmania and the Camerondom disappears beneath a humping heap of lascivious toads

Published by Jonathan Cape, November 2010 (hardback, 400pages)
ISBN: 9780224087629
You can buy it via the Guardian Bookshop here: guardianbookshop.co.uk
 

My Vision for a New You

My Vision for a New You cover You can be successful just like Tony Blair. Use this guide and you can reach your goals. Don’t and you won’t.

Steve Bell dreamed up this book based on long imaginary conversation with Britain’s most powerful man. In his day job Steve Bell is an award winning political cartoonist for the Guardian.

Read this book and you could become Prime Minister – or you could do it the hard way.

Methuen 2006 (hardback)
ISBN 10: 0-413-77593-3 ISBN 13: 978-0-413-77593-1
You can buy it via the Guardian Bookshop here: guardianbookshop.co.uk
 

If... Marches On cover

If... Marches On

Where do penguins march to?
What do they do when they get there?
How tight are Tony Blair’s pants?
What is it that politicians can’t keep in their trousers?
What kind of creature was William Hague?
Does George Bush have anything in common with the Arctic Monkeys?

These are some of the questions that may or may not be answered by this book. In time honoured tradition, IF… Marches On contains a huge dose of Steve Bell’s IF… cartoons, stripped from their usual habitat in the pages of the Guardian. But for theis edition there is a difference – this magnificent beast of a book is in full vibrant colour.*
*except where its in black and white

Methuen 2006 (hardback)
ISBN 10: 0-413-77571-2 ISBN 13: 978-0-413-77571-9
You can buy it via the Guardian Bookshop here: guardianbookshop.co.uk
 

Apes of Wrath

Apes of Wrath cover This is the shocking story of the War on Terror in glorious colour.*

Apes of wrath brings together in one volume Steve Bell’s viciously funny visual record of the Bush presidency and the Blair sycophancy with a colourful running commentary straight from the monkey’s mouth.

It’s all here, from Poppy Bush’s first stormin’ desert excursion in 1991 to the madness of George II’s Baghdad bash. Read it and prepare to be blitzed!

*Terms and conditions apply – some imagery may be in monochrome at the artists discretion.

Methuen 2004 (hardback)
ISBN: 0 413 77450 3

The Unspeakable If... cover

The Unspeakable If...

Unspeakable Boom! Bam!
Unspeakable Bum! Balls!
Unspeakable Bush! Blair!
Unspeakable Bong! Bell!

Let’s face it – the last couple of years have been bloody UNSPEAKABLE. Ever since September 11th Bush ‘n’ Blair, the most unlikely pairing since Atilla the Hun met Muffin the Mule, have been monkeying around with the world. War is the new war and from Kuwait to right up the Khyber they’ve given us plenty of it. Here at last is the antidote – Steve Bell’s latest climactic chathartic and crazily funny collection of IF… strips from ther pages of the Guardian. Its almost UNPRINTABLE.

Methuen 2003 (paperback)
ISBN: 0 412 77357 4

Unstoppable If...

Unstoppable If... cover Steve Bell is undeniably the best political cartoonist in Britain today, unerring in his scathing and wickedly funny visual take on the world and uninhibited with his scatological and inventive commentary. It’s unimaginable what some politicians will do to get themselves sent up and now you can follow the story of Blair’s first four years in this latest collection of the unrivalled IF… strips from the Guardian.

From the unprecedented New Labour victory through the unbelievable multiple resignations of Mandelson, the unparalleled Fat Blokes saga, the unthinkable foot and mouth outbreak and the unbridled generosity of the Iron Chancellor, ever onwards to the inevitable and not unexpected General Election of 2001 and beyond, this book is truly UNSTOPPABLE.

“One of the most…” “…brilliant artists” - Tony Blair, Brighton 26.9.2000
“I couldn’t do better myself” - Mousieur L’Artiste, Calais 2.4.2001
“Fantastic creation” Lord God Almighty, Heaven 7.6.2001

Methuen 2001 (paperback)
ISBN: 0 413 75990 3

Chairman Blair's Little Red Book cover

Chairman Blair's Little Red Book (with Brian Homer)

For younger readers:
Chairman Mao was the communist leader in revolutionary China. His little Red Book contained his key ideas and was used by young cadres during the Cultural Revolution. It was red and little.

For older readers:
Chairman Blair is Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. His Little Red Book contains his key ideas for use in campaigning and electioneering. Fittingly and in accordance with the New Third Way colour thinking, his Little Red Book is blue.

Methuen 2001 (paperback)
ISBN: 0 413 76000 6

Bell's Eye

Bell's Eye cover Thatcher’s Eyeballs,Major’s Underpants,Blair’s Bollocks.

For over twenty years Steve Bell, the award winning cartoonist, satirist and all-round piss-taker has been recording the follies, foibles and f*** ups of contemporary politics.

This special omnibus collection contains his best drawings from the last two decades and three prime ministerial regimes.

Methuen 1999 (paperback)
ISBN: 0 413 72540 5

The If... Files cover

The If... Files

IF… you can keep your head while all around are cloning theirs and grafting them on you…
IF… you can make a pie of worn out beef and eat it, then make a lottery of all your brains…
IF… you can meet with Blair and Major and treat those tory tossers just the same…
IF… you can nail an effigy of Thatcher and make a joke of God and Queen…
IF… you can toy around with politicians and stay acute but not too clean…
IF… you can labour fifteen years in the back pages of The Guardian …
Then… you are Steve Bell and you are Strip Cartoonist of the Year my son!!!

Steve Bell’s new book is compiled from Guardian strips and inexplicable FBI election documents that prove beyond rational explanation that THE PANTS ARE OUT THERE!

Methuen 1997 (paperback)
ISBN: 0 413 72230 9

Live Briefs (with Simon Hoggart)

Live Briefs cover Steve Bell and Simon Hoggart are two of the sharpest satirists on the Guardian. Bell is the award-winning cartoonist who delights readers with drawings in the same savage tradition as Rowlandson and Gillray. Hoggart’s daily parliamentary sketches are always biting and often hilarious.

Together they have combined to produce Live Briefs, without doubt the wittiest and the fiercest look yet at the bizarre world of contemporary British politics.

Relive the great beef fiasco, in which the Government blamed the opposition for the poison in our food. Gasp again at the Scott Inquiry in which Ministers lied to Mps – but were excused because ‘they were not duplicitous’. Learn the secrets of Michael Fabricant’s hair, Michael Heseltine’s bald patch, and John Major’s iconic underwear.

Once in a generation a new book appears which changes the way we look at politics and forces us to examine again the structure of out democracy. This is not that book, but on the other hand, it will make you laugh for hours.

Methuen 1996 (paperback)
ISBN: 0 413 70970 1

The Big If... cover

The Big If...

It’s back and it’s bigger than ever. The foul-mouthed penguin with the beak of gold in the book that tells his story. Anything can happen in a strip cartoon, and in Steve Bell’s daily IF… strip in the Guardian it frequently does. Thrill to the adventures of the Lone Parent and Tonto. Marvel at the exploits of Bambi in his quest for the pants of power. Gape as Socks the President’s daughter’s cat grapples with his fish problem and grit your teeth as John Major carries on regardless. Like the penguin, this book is big, it’s bold and it’s black and white. Experience a feast of fun, fact, fantasy and filth in this bumper comic history of the last two years.

“This book is larger than life” the late Robert Maxwell
“Like Chechnya, I couldn’t put it down” Boris Yeltsin
“I couldn’t pick it up” John Major
“It’s so big I could kiss it” The Pope
“Not as big as my salary” The Gasman of British Chair

Methuen 1995 (paperback)
ISBN: 0 413 69770 3

For Whom Bell Tolls

For Whom Bell Tolls cover A collection of the very best of the leader page cartoons from the Guardian by award-winning cartoonist Steve Bell, one of Britain’s most consistently incisive and hilarious satirists. For Whom Bell Tolls spans the years from the political demise of Thatcher to Major’s Long hot summer of 1994.

Steve Bell, creator of the Guardian newspapers IF… strip, was awarded the prize for Cartoonist of the Year 1993 in the What the Papers Say Awards. The judges said, “He could have taken this award several times over the last dozen years. What’s made him unmissable in 1993 has been the confirmation of the expansion of his range…. His depiction of John Major with his grey underpants over his trousers has all buy become the universal standard.

“It is nonsense, isn’t it? It was nonsense from the beginning, is nonsense and is intended just to destabilise me and so I ignore it.” John Major (on Bell’s caricature)

“No other cartoonist has captured John Major’s sheer nerdiness so hilariously… Steve Bell is the best political cartoonist we have.” The Sunday Times

Methuen 1994 (paperback)
ISBN: 0 413 69070 9

If... Bottoms Out cover

If... Bottoms Out

You can bet your bottom dollar that at the end of the day the bottom line is that the tunnel isn’t going to be open in time for you to see the light at the end of it. We’re in a hot seat but it’s a British hot seat. Just keep whistling in the dark until they close the bottomless pit once and for all.

And if you want to be fundamentally at ease with yourself you can do no better than to sit it out with this new collection of IF… cartoons from the back end of the Guardian. It’ll set your pants on fire.

Methuen 1993 (paperback)
ISBN: 0 7493 1505 9

If... Goes Down the John

If... Goes Down the John cover The True Tale of a remarkably satisfactory innings that led to victory.
Things looked bad. His side needed 326 to win and time was running out. Only one man had the balls to say he could do it in singles. One man alone at the crease assisted only by a large number of national newspapers, the city, the Banks, an undisclosed sum of money, the CBI, the CIA, MI5, MI6 and the divine intervention of Dame Barbara Cartland.

The man was John Major, the caring guy with the warm handshake and the Social Fund loan, who had himself looked poverty in the eye and given it one of his nicest smiles. Confident and fiscally prudent with an eleven billion pound asset hole, a man with a plan at the helm of a Nation at ease with itself.
Now at long last you can possess in one small volume the complete ball-by-ball account of John Major’s record breaking first innings as it appeared daily from the pen of Silly Mid-off cartoonist Steve Bell in the pages of the Guardian newspaper.

Methuen 1992 (paperback)
ISBN: 0 7493 1144 4

If... Kicks Butt cover

If... Kicks Butt

No news is good news, too much news is bad news, but bad news is good news for those who own the news, and news for the goose is sauce for the gander.

From the year of General Mayhem and Major Disaster, the ninth annual collection of IF… strips from the Guardian sets the record straight.

Methuen 1991 (paperback)
ISBN: 0 7493 0816 8

Funny Old World (with Roger Woddis)

Funny Old World cover And spurning the multitudes, she went into private session with her leading prelates.
And she opened her mouth, and taught them, saying:

Blessed are the rich in pocket: for theirs is the freedom of choice.
Blessed are they that screw the poor: for they shall be rewarded.

During the last years of Thatcher and Reagan and the first months of Bush and Major some of the funniest and most savage comments on world affairs appeared in the pages of the New Statesman and Society, in the form of full colour cartoons by Steve Bell and hilariously acid verses by Roger Woddis.

Funny Old World is a collection of the best of Bell and Woddis from 1988 to 1991. It brings together for the first time the sharpest work of two of Britain’s most consistently incisive satirists.

Methuen 1991 (hardback and paperback)
ISBN: 0 413 65950 X

The Revolutionary If... cover

The Revolutionary If...

The old Order is changing in Europe. The Germans have dismantled the Berlin Wall and the British have dismantled their sewage system. New thinking and new ideas are abroad. At home there is the Poll Tax and Mad Cow Disease. In this ever changing universe one reference point remains constant, throbbing and twinkling in the far reaches of The Guardian newspaper. This is the eighth annual collection of IF… strips from the year that said Hello Havel and Ciao Ceaucescu.

“Mankind was born free and is everywhere in chainstores.” – K.Marx
“What is to be done with my spinning corpse?” V.I. Lenin
“You dirty rat” J.Cagney

Methuen 1990 (paperback)
ISBN: 0 413 63840 5

The Vengence of If...

The Vengence of If... cover PUNGENT PENGUIN-PACKED PAGES OF SEARING SATIRE FROM THE MOST SCATHINGLY SAVAGE DAILY COMIC STRIP OF THE CENTURY, ANY CENTURY. - The Guardian
"Palm-sweating tension – tension so taut the smallest development explodes in the reader’s head." – The Publisher
"A heart-rending epic of violence, love, passion, pain, triumph and tragedy…. the book for every woman who thought she knew herself and for every man who thought he knew a woman or a penguin." – The Publisher’s Friend
"This book is not a book. It is a marvellous experience." – New Sycophant
"Had me on the edge of my seat…. Aaaaaaaarrgghh!!!" – Ayatollah Khomeini

Methuen 1989 (paperback)
ISBN: 0 413 61940 0

If... Breezes In cover

If... Breezes In

A natural disaster? An Act of God? No, it’s the collection of IF… cartoons from the year of the Great Wind. The cartoon strip that appears every day in a different place in the stylish hew Geddup-an’-Go Guardian. The strip that dares to Fart in the Face of Thatcherism.

“A Breath of Fresh Air” – The Bowelopener
“Lets itself down through repeated use of cheap toilet humour” – Proctology Today
“A real trouser splitter” – Literary Review
“An absolute stinker” – What Gummer

Methuen 1988 (paperback)
ISBN: 0 413 18830 2

Maggie's Farm - The Last Roundup

Maggie's Farm - The Last Roundup cover At Last! Maggie’s Farm bites back. After a period of grazing on the pages of London’s City Limits magazine here it is – the cartoon they couldn’t corral – by Steve Bell, the untamed creator of the IF… strip cartoon in The Guardian. Is this the last roundup for the forces of evil or will the zombies return from the pit? This cartoon history of the last five years is a shiveringly good read.

Some pre-publication reviews of this book:
“The political analysis on page 55 is printed in the wrong colour.” The Face
“The whole concept needs a redesign by a man with a Posrche.” New Socialist

Methuen 1987 (paperback)
ISBN: 0 413 15880 2

If... Bounces Back cover

If... Bounces Back

A Bouncing Bundle of sleek ‘n’ snappy strip cartoons from the year of fear. The year when safe sex and perilous politics were back with a vengeance; Divine Vengeance. Only Steve Bell’s IF… cartoon in The Guardian could fearlessly feed off the funny side of this farrago of f***-ups.

“Almost obscene.” House of Lords, March 1987.

Methuen 1987 (paperback)
ISBN: 0 413 15890 X

The Unrepeatable If...

The Unrepeatable If... cover Another searing annual blast of the smash hit daily strip cartoon from the soaraway small ads page of The Guardian.

Featuring:

- Biting black and white drawings and a riot of hand crafted lettering.
- 160 individually opening pages.
- Over half-an-inch thickness.

Methuen 1986 (paperback)
ISBN: 0 413 14440 2

Waiting for the Upturn cover

Waiting for the Upturn (with Brian Homer)

They were Multi-Millionaire Men about Town. They went on a Mission, a Mission of Discovery. They came to an offshore, post-industrial wasteland. They had to find the Potential, the Concept, the Product that would turn this bananaless ex-empire around and make it pay.

They were Maxwell Mouth and Ward F. Trousers. This Book tells their story.

Waiting for the Upturn presents a never-before attempted combination of photo-realism and cartoono-verite by Steve Bell, Britain’s largest political cartoonist, creator of the IF… strip and Maggie’s Farm, and Britain’s baldest photographer, Brian Homer, designer of the IF… books.

Note to the librarians: file under JOKE ECONOMICS

Methuen 1986
ISBN: 0 413 58660 X (hardback) ISBN: 0 413 42220 8 (paperback)

Another Load of If...

Another Load of if... cover A third full year’s worth of the strip cartoon published daily in The Guardian.

“We have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat.” Falkland Islands Tourist Board
“Looks like you’ve got me bang to rights, guv’nor.” Sir Michael Havers QC
“Nyaaaaa, facket!!!” A.Parrot

Methuen 1985 (paperback)
ISBN: 0 413 58670 7

If... Only Again cover

If... Only Again

Another collection of the strip cartoon published daily in The Guardian.

This was the year in which the Iron Lady’s rivets began to drop out.
What the papers say about this book:

“Distasteful underground humour.” What Bunker Monthly
“Unfair.” Nepotism Today
What the Penguin says about the papers:
The Sun – “Lotsa pork pies with lotsa sauce.”
The Times – “Much better since they introduced £50,000 Spot-the-Stiff.”
Daily Mail – “It makes my bum sore.”

Methuen 1984 (paperback)
ISBN: 0 413 56600 5

The If... Chronicles

The If... Chronicles cover This is the strip cartoon that appears daily in the far reaches of The Guardian newspaper, and is written and drawn by Steve Bell, possibly Britain’s largest political cartoonist.

It tells the story of a year in the life of a banana republic which has no bananas, whose rulers include Tarzan, an Iron Lady and a well known Cyclopath.

It follows, amongst other things, the adventures of a South Atlantic penguin who bites back, a Chief of Police with an appetite for monkeys, and, crossing the Atlantic, tells the moving story of the relationship between a Talking Mule and a misunderstood cowboy.

Above all it commemorates that great spirit which is embodied in Margaret Thatcher’s determination to yield ‘Not One Fish’.

Methuen 1983 (paperback)
ISBN: 0 413 53970 9

Further Down Maggie's Farm cover

Further Down Maggie's Farm

More instalments of Maggie’s Farm together, as never before, with ‘IF…’ from the Guardian, plus a guest appearance from Lord God Almighty.

“Gung-ho” – Daily Dog
“Rejoice!” – Margaret Thatcher
“What’s your poison, John?” Harry Hardnose

Penguin 1982 (paperback)
ISBN: 0 14 00.6417 6

Maggie's Farm

Maggie's Farm cover Maggie’s Farm – A visual record of the Thatcher years in living black and white.

“This book will change your life” – Farmer’s Weakly
“Stands head and shoulders above the rest” – Daily Giraffe

Penguin 1981 (paperback)
ISBN: 0 14 00.6078 2